COMEDY ZONE

AKPOS IN CHURCH

One faithful Sunday morning  Mr Akpos went to church to see the miracle that has been the talk of the town in one new generation church so metres away from this house, on reaching there he was welcomed and ushered to a sit by one beautiful girl, when Akpos saw the girl he concluded in his mind that definitely he has found a place of worship.

Then as the pastor of the church was preaching, Akpos never concentrate on the message from the alter rather he was busy looking at the beautiful usher girl.

Then the worst happened when the pastor asked the usher to call on anybody to read one passage of the bible, then she point at Akpos who have not even dare open his bible. Hear his response: 

Actually I did not study bible in my days in school, what i read was philosophy, psychology, anatomy, ideology, in fact i obtain my master degree in biology, ecology, analogy, oceanology from the university of Liverpool.

The pastor was force to say thank you-thank you sit down my brother in the Lord.

So Akpos sat down thinking  he has won prestige for himself before the beautiful usher. So as the pastor continue with his preaching, he then said that very body in the church need to fasting his or her seat belt because the world is running faster then what we think. And Akpos hearing this stood up from his seat, moving from one seat to another, when the usher saw him she went to him to know what was the matter with their new welcomed member: 

Usher: Brother, what is the matter? Member are not allowed to move around when the Pastor message is going on.

Akpos: Eh! not that i am move without a mission and purpose, but in conjunction with the word from the pulpit i move, base on the fact that i understood scientifically that the world goes round the orbit in a low velocity and with confirmation from the pastor that speak the word of God with prophesy from heaven, is like God has changed the speed of the earth round the orbit from low to high velocity. So i am looking for sit with seat belt since the pastor has warn us of a seat belt and that seat has no belt so i am looking for one with belt.

 THE HUNGRY MAN AND THE LITTLE BOY

There is an incident that keep me laughing each time i remember it, but nevertheless i will also add you to my "laugh it out corner". READ IT NOW!!!

There was a man that just closed from work and on his way home he was tired hungered and went into one of the snacks bar to rest and cool off the hunger before he got home and unfortunately for him there was no snacks left, he left angrily and said "please close this good for nothing bar of yours and give the apartment to good manager to handle and give us want we want at anytime" but the manager never get angry at his words but then he gently went to him and said " calm down mister, take it easy, but you came at the wrong hour....." "Shut up young man!" The man interrupted, and he continued, "Why mustn't you get the satisfaction of your customer, in fact I've concluded that you are a failure, your staffs are all failures, your bar also is a failure and finally, everybody, everything in this place right now are all failures" (which means he also is a failure because he is inside the bar at that time) when he has done speaking, the only manager replied by saying "we are sorry sir" and the hungry man fizzle out murmuring.

As he trek down the street getting to a public rest point to sit and ease his anger, he saw a young boy of about 7 to 8 years sitting down on the bench and he look at him and said, "hello boy" the boy never care to look at the face of who is greeting him but the man continued, "..what are you doing here?" "just relaxing man" replied the boy "i know you must be really tied?" asked the man,"no, not at all, just looking around and having fun of the cool weather" the little boy replied jovially. The man don't know that the boy was as good as he is, being made to sit and hoping for the time for public lunch so that he can enjoy the food for the less privileged before heading to his destination.

"Please can you do me a favour" pleaded the man, "what is that favour you want from me?" asked the boy, " I need some snacks" the information rang through the ears of the young man like someone that just got a call that he has be rewarded with a million dollars prized asset, "can you please buy us some snacks?" continued the man, "sure i can" replied the boy, leaped up on his feet like a junior officer that has just seen a general, "good boy" said the man reaching out for his wallet from his pocket.

He gave the boy a note of dollar and said " Please kindly walk down to the snacks bar over there and get us 2 chicken pies, 1 for you and 1 for me.Is that ok? "yea quite ok" replied the boy as he reach for the money and zoom off. In less than 5 minutes the boy is back and the man was waiting in anticipation to get a real bite of the chicken pie, then guess what happened.

"Sir, i actually went to the snacks bar over there to get the chicken pie and unfortunately it was only 1 left and i got that for myself as you said that i should get 1 for myself and 1 for you so they don't have yours and here is the balance of your money" as he sat down to enjoy his chicken pie, the man was dumbfounded with his eyes wide open in an astonishing mood while he watch the boy bite, chew and digest the chicken pie.

 

BETTER THAN DAD

We are made to understand that children of these days are more wiser than their father.

Read this funny conversation between a boy of seven and his father.

DAD: Hey! Sam how old are?

SAM: Am just seven dad........

DAD: Shut up! What is wrong with you? Nothing you do so perfectly, look at your result and how poor you have really done, where was you when John was scoring the best of marks? No son you are not like me, i sometime wonder if you are my son, when i was in school at your age i was the best student in my class, i performed so excellently well in all my subjects, but you just a kind of nonentity, shame you son.

The boy was speechless and frozen as ice, but after some days back the boy went to his dad when he was in his best of time enjoying the cool evening breeze, on sighting his son he said, 

DAD: Sam where are you coming from?

SAM: From extra moral dad.

DAD: Good, that's very good son you like your dad when i was of your age my dad was so glad to have me as a son cause i was the best in all my career studies.

SAM: Thanks dad.

DAD: Good son.

The boy adjust himself to the sit out chair some meters away from his dad and and said,

SAM: Dad how are you,

DAD: I am fine son.

SAM: Dad, how old are you?

DAD: Oh! son, your dad is just 49 to 50 years

SAM: Oh! dad at 49 your have not gotten a how of your own, still living in two bed flat rented apartment, just a car, no car for mum no car for me and Shaly, oh dad i can't be like you where were you when Bill Gate was making money? Before i get to your age i will not be as poor as you are, i will provide car for my wife and my kids, have my own house and not to be living in just two bedroom flat apartment like you dad........

DAD: Shut up your silly mouth boy! 

SAM: But dad you said when you are seven you are far better than i

DAD: Yes?

SAM: So i will be better than you when i am at your age

DAD: Enough Sam! now get out!!